5 reasons why “Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones” isn’t worth marking out for
If you have plans this weekend to watch a movie, I can see why watching the latest movie in the Paranormal Activity franchise would be tempting; the series has offered good scares in the past – at one point having a trailer only featuring audience reactions of the movie – but unless you’re in the mood for cheap thrills and dumb entertainment, here are 5 reasons why you should probably watch something else.
1. Stupid characters
Except her. She’s pretty.
I understand the need to suspend disbelief when watching films; it’s the only way to truly enjoy movies and immerse yourself in the experience, but The Marked Ones will truly test your intelligence and patience. I understand how it’s a horror cliché to have characters split up or wonder around in dangerous or dark places at the most inappropriate situations, and yet it astounds me how these characters keep making dumb decisions when they themselves have established the danger early on. It’s infuriating.
2. Cheap tricks
Booyaka!
Confession time; I am relatively easy to scare, if you hide in the bathroom and surprise me out of nowhere I’d probably piss my pants – literally if I actually have to use the bathroom – so yes, the various tricks in this movie did in fact scare me, but not at the point of having nightmares or regrets, they kind of just appear to get a reaction from the audience then move on to the next scene. It doesn’t help that The Marked Ones has decided to rely on a list of horror movie clichés; creepy children, exorcisms, cults etc. Like I mentioned earlier I’m a horror wuss so I spent a good amount of time covering my eyes and if you’re in the mood for cheap thrills then by all means watch this movie, but keep in mind that you’ve probably seen better so spend at your own risk.
3. Unoriginal
You want to know how I got these scars? Actually you don’t
It’s pretty ironic how the first scene is set on graduation day and the lead character makes a speech about how change is for the better, because The Marked Ones doesn’t really change anything. Sure it’s slightly different from its predecessors, but in return it steals from other movies, making it a hodge podge of various films that have used these concepts in better ways. It has powers similar to Chronicle, exorcisms and cults as mentioned earlier that have come from a billion movies beforehand, the actual “Marked Ones” look like the vampires from 30 Days of Night. I see the need to try new things and breathe life into the franchise, but The Marked Ones isn’t new; it’s a rip off and a poorly done one at that, to the point that it almost loses its identity.
4. Evil for evil’s sake
- More fun than the actual movie…
Adding to the fact that the movie is full of clichés, we also get generic demons that possess you and make you do mean things because THEY. ARE. EVIIIIIIIL! I know horror movies aren’t known for their depth and complexity, but they can be recognized for their subtlety or at the very least their interesting back stories. The Marked Ones doesn’t really explain why being “marked” turns you into a Steve Niles creation with a power set and is perfectly content with being generic.
5. THE F%#KING CAMERA
Bathroom selfie?
I mentioned suspension of disbelief earlier on, but this will truly boggle the mind. I get that the Paranormal Activity franchise is known for its amateur camera look, but they at least used to offer a decent explanation as to why they’d film their demon possessions. The Marked Ones doesn’t even bother trying to explain and they simply have the characters bring the camera in spite of the fact that doing so in a real situation would be REALLY BOTHERSOME. Also, why the heck doesn’t the battery run out? Geez.
The Verdict: I can see some people getting some entertainment out of this film if they turn off their brains and are in the mood for some easy thrills, that’s not an insult either, not every movie has to be a thought provoking experience, so if you want to simply get some scares (or have some snuggles with a significant other teehee) then by all means ignore the 5 reasons I gave. Keep in mind however that you have probably seen better horror, so it might be better to just pop in a DVD and stay home.
Thank you to solar entertainment for the opportunity to review this!
