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Posted July 10, 2013 by Toby Alejandria in Columns
 
 

D’Abenjers Pt. 1

What would “The Avengers” be if it was made locally? Or better yet, what would happen if a mainstream film production outlet made “The Avengers”? Would it be better? Would it be worse? Dunno. All I can say is, it’s gonna be as entertaining as the original.

For this post, we’re going to be discussing the cast. Why? Because if I put all of the elements here, you’d be doing more productive things and I wouldn’t want my superiors and contemporaries to throw me in the gutter for being a thorn in the throat, that’s why.

So, without further ado (having work experience in the film industry), here’s the Avengers that only my damaged brain can come up with:

 Coco Martin as Hawkeye

This guy’s over-qualified!

 

Just like Jeremy Renner, he’s the smallest amongst his colleagues. A beefy, short guy.

Angel Locsin as Black Widow

(Useless fact: I photobombed this photo. ;))

I know you have other options in mind, but consider this: she’s hot, has done a lot of action sequences than her contemporaries, and she can seem fierce. Lastly, I’m the one writing this up, and I’m VERY biased towards her. ;)

 

Robin Padilla as Capt. America

‘Tol! Binoe’s the perfect choice for Cap since he’s exposed to a lot of hand-to-hand combat IRL–muay thai and this. He’s also the embodiment of a people’s champ (aside from Manny Pacquiao), despite his rugged demeanor.

Christopher de Leon as Tony Stark

Like Robert Downey Jr., Boyet here’s already established in the industry as one good veteran. And, besides, who rocks a goatee (among our pool of celebrities here) better than this guy?

Ronaldo Valdez as Nick Fury

God knows Hudas not pay.

Filipinos have an inclination to make leaders out of their elders. Is it the wisdom? Is it the experience? I don’t know, maybe it’s because of his white hair. That’s why Nick Fury won’t be bald here.

Piolo Pascual as Thor

Basically, it comes down to this: a lot have gone gaga over this guy. He’s also done a lot of movies and shows wherein he’s so bad-ass (oooooooooooooohhhhhh). Oh, and no Asgardian has room for softness. ;)

Baron Geisler as Loki

I wonder why they tied his hands behind his back…

This guy has been so notorious on and off-cam that it’s really impossible to not give this guy the role!

John Lloyd Cruz as Bruce Banner

You won’t be smiling as much when production begins. Oh wait, you can.

This actor has received much praise for his acting prowess, from being kilig-happy to being dead-drunk angry. Just perfect to play a guy who can’t be seduced by women without the fear of tearing them like paper!

But you won’t be playing the Green Giant, because we’ve found the other guy for that job…

Eric “Eruption” Tai as The Hulk

True-story-without-me-messing-with-you: I did not edit those guys. Otherwise, I would’ve gone all the way with his skin.

Remember the old Hulk? Yeah, that’s kinda what will be happening here. But, we shall discuss that aspect on Part 3 of “D’Abenjers”!

There you have it. Hopefully, you’ll bear with this opium-ridden entry because this will be a 4-part series! On the next post, I shall be discussing how different the plot and their backstories will be!

(NOTE: This entry does not serve the purpose of maligning the aforementioned celebrities. This is purely speculative and the insights are based on opinions and experiences. Will have to put this every time, damn!)

Image sources: starmometer, sexandsensibilities, philstar, heartthrobcandy (might have malware, proceed with caution), abscbnpr, phstars, thelasallian, fallingcanopy, and Eric Tai’s Facebook page


Toby Alejandria