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Posted February 6, 2016 by Drew Bagay in Comics
 
 

5 Male Superheroes You Should NOT Date

It’s probably a dream of many people to date a superhero. They’re selfless, extremely good looking, have superpowers, and ultimately do what they do for the greater good. Unfortunately, as proven time and time again, being the significant other of a superhero is never easy. Most of the time it takes a turn for the worst, due to always in the line of danger and the commitment to protect the city from crime.

While some had great success in building a relationship with their loved ones (e.g. Superman), a few major superheroes just can’t get a break. Call it an occupational hazard.

Here are some superheroes you should definitely avoid getting in a serious relationship with if you want to stay happy, sane, or you know, alive.

1. Daredevil

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Daredevil is arguably the unluckiest superhero out there when it comes to romantic relationships. He’s had several relationships over the years but none of them had a happy ending. Over the course of his superhero career, somehow his girlfriends all ended up dead, or driven insane.

Some of the popular ones he’s dated include Elektra (dead, but resurrected), Karen Page (dead), Heather Glenn (dead), and Milla Donovan (insane), and many more. That’s gotta be a record right there.

So if you wanna have a healthy, happy life, stay away from Matt Murdock.

2. Spider-Man

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Spider-Man has the most famous dead girlfriend in the history of superhero comics – Gwen Stacy. She’s so popular for being THE dead girlfriend, that in a world where most deaths are retconned away, Gwen still remains dead (Spider-Gwen aside).

On the flipside, Spidey’s had a very successful relationship with Mary Jane that led to a marriage. The pair was happily married for years until Peter Parker decided to reveal his secret identity in the 2007 event Civil War, which put his loved ones at risk. True enough, Aunt May was left in critical condition after being shot in an assassination attempt planned by the Kingpin. Ultimately, Peter had to sacrifice his marriage to save Aunt May in a deal with Mephisto himself in the very controversial story called “One More Day.” Talk about the Parker Luck.

Peter Parker’s definitely a good guy; so much so that he stood up his dates frequently to do his duties as a superhero. So one could argue that dating only other superheroes could solve his relationship problems.

3. Kyle Rayner (Green Lantern)

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Kyle Rayner is yet another superhero famous for having dead girlfriends, which is fast becoming one of the most common things associated with them. Rayner is a good guy with good intentions, but he’s just down on his luck when it comes to girlfriends, in that they all died in a the most horrific way possible.

Imagine coming home from your regular superhero routine and finding your significant other stuffed in the refrigerator. That’s got to be the most tragic death in the history of  dead superhero girlfriends.

Kyle’s next love interest, Jade, eventually died as well, albeit in a heroic way.

4. Batman

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Who doesn’t want to date the Dark Knight? Everybody loves Bruce Wayne, especially the ladies. When not fighting crime in the late hours of the night, Bruce Wayne lives it up as the billionaire playboy owner of Wayne Enterprises.

Many argue that Bruce Wayne is just a facade, and he is in his truest self when he’s Batman. Since he donned the bat costume and became the Caped Crusader, he already married himself to one thing only – fighting crime. Batman is so obsessed with the idea of bringing justice to Gotham City that there’s no time for him to be dating.

Sure he’s had some successful connections with Catwoman and Talia Al Ghul (they even have a son), but can you really call those happy relationships? They’re surely exciting though.

UPDATE (02/11/2018): Batman and Catwoman are currently engaged in Tom King’s run of Batman. But it took a long time, didn’t it?

5. Flash

He’s the fast man alive, if you know what I mean. And if not, I’ll let Hawgirl explain it for you.


Drew Bagay

 
Drew is a lover of comic books, movies, and all things pop culture. He enjoys crime/thriller/noir fiction, playing the guitar, and taking long walks. He also doesn't like talking in third person.